Conducting a job search can be exhausting and challenging in many ways. From reviewing and revising multiple iterations of one’s resume to cover letters, the entire process can take a toll on a job seeker’s career aspirations and outlook. One extremely necessary and often overlooked aspect of the job search is networking. It’s a part of the search that can be frustrating but when done right, can open doors and lead to some great opportunities.

People who say they hate networking are often afraid to connect with others or hate socializing. Here are the most popular complaints of people who hate networking and tips on how to deal with it:

1. “I don’t have a network.”

First, let’s dispel the notion that you don’t have a network. Each of us has a network that’s comprised of friends, family, classmates, coworkers, and others that you associate with on a personal or professional level. The misconception that a person doesn’t have a network is often accompanied by the uncertainty of not knowing who to add to your network. Now that you realize you do have a network, what can you do about those contacts?

Suggestion: Build meaningful connections. Whether you’re collecting business cards at an event or adding contacts on LinkedIn, it is important to connect by taking the time to get to know people and their interests as well as share yours. You may find someone who shares similar interests and goals as you. Not only will it help with discovering opportunities but it will also evoke curiosity within your search and career path.

2. “I don’t know how to maintain my network.”

For many of us that network every day in our professional lives, the challenge sometimes isn’t building the network but often maintaining it. What do you say to someone you just met? How do you follow up?

Suggestion: Like any relationship, whether professional or personal, it’s a two-way street. Don’t make it all about you and see if there’s anything you can offer to your new contact. For example, if you meet someone at a networking event who is looking to hire an architecture intern, which falls outside of your area of expertise, help connect that person to some of the architecture students you know. The doors you open for others may open a few for you as well. Networking is often about sharing information and contacts and goes beyond one’s personal needs.

3. “I never see any results from networking.”

The people who really dislike networking often use this as a reason to not continue building connections. Measurable results are very important to any process or task to know the type of progress one is making. Networking is not something that can be measured in this way as the long term value and knowledge that is provided are often overlooked.

Suggestion: Be realistic and manage your expectations. There are two different analogies that I often compare to networking when it comes to expectations. The first is dating. If you go into every first or second date thinking or guessing if “this is the one,” there’s a good chance you’re going to be disappointed by the outcome. The same goes for networking. If you think that every contact you make should or will lead to your dream job, chances are it won’t happen and you won’t build a strong connection or network, especially if other people see that is all you’re concerned with as well. The second analogy comes from baseball. If you are a hitter, and you go into every at-bat wanting to swing for the fences and hit a home run, there’s a good chance you’ll strike out. Be patient and wait for your pitch. You may not hit a home run but sometimes the singles and doubles that you hit can generate success for you in the long term.

4. “I have no idea what to talk about.”

There’s a fear of starting a conversation or keeping a conversation going with someone you just met at a networking event or job fair. Not knowing what to say after “Hi, my name is _____” is something that many of us have encountered in various aspects of life.

Suggestion: Know who you are and be confident in the value that you bring. Going beyond your elevator pitch or intro can seem challenging but as we’ve been discussing, one major aspect of networking is finding out more about the person you are meeting. So what do you talk about? Once you’ve exchanged pleasantries, you can:

• Ask for advice
  
• Ask about their career path or interests and listen
  
• Discuss similar interests, background or experiences
  
• Share something else about yourself or interesting about the event you are attending
  

5. “I don’t know where to go to network.”

The first thing I say to job seekers that aren’t getting called for interviews is to step away from their computer and applying for jobs and get out and meet people. Networking doesn’t just happen at work or formal events. The person you play recreational sports with on the weekends with, the person you meet at church, or a friend of your parents may all be people that work at companies that you want to learn more about.

Suggestion: Get out and attend any events that may be interesting and engaging to you. Networking can and should be fun. If you’re a student, see if your Career Services department is holding any networking or meetup events. If you’re a seasoned professional, attend industry events where you can learn about the latest trends and topics.

Do you have any tips for networking?

By Kent Yuen